Ultimatums

Ultimatums are a waste of time.  They are usually given with the intent of changing someone.  Why change that person?  He or she is their own person and they can make the choice of who they want to be.  If the person that they are conflicts with what you want, you have a choice to remove that person from your life.  If you do give someone an ultimatum and they actually do change, there is still probably going to be some resentment towards you from that person.  I understand that ultimatums are usually given with the intent of improving some area of the person you are giving it to, but ultimatums are not the way to go.  There are alternate routes to take.  You can create what is known as a dilemma.  You do something in your life that conflicts with the actions of the antagonist.  This action sets off a chain reaction where there is nothing left for the other person to do but change or leave.  You have not asked him or her to change, you have only made it impossible for he or she not to.